It snowed again last night.

I used to love the winter weather and everything that came with it. Cozy sweaters, hot chocolate, snuggling with my family indoors etc. And for the most part, I still do. But now there's another dimension to it that I didn't know about before.

Now I worry when my husband pulls the car out of the garage and leaves the safety of our house to head out onto icy streets.Now I have an angry cat named Chester who sits on top of his cat house, snoopy style, and scowls at me through the back door when I walk past. I can hear what he's thinking: "You told me it would be fun to live outside."
"Get in your house!", I yell through the glass at him. "It's warm in your house!"
But he just sits on top of it in all his fury and shivers so I know how cold he is.

The other thing I hate about winter? Cold and flu season. Because we're sick.

Justin stayed home from work yesterday and we didn't even do anything fun, just sat on the couch wrapped in blankets, watched inauguration coverage, and listened to each other sneeze and sniff and cough.

And because of the sneezing and sniffing and coughing I can't sleep.

And when I do, Audrey wakes me up. Because she's sick too.

But even when I'm walking through the dark to her room for the 5th or 6th time that night, I can't be upset. Because in that room is a crib with a little girl who sits up when she sees me in the doorway and stretches out her hands. I pick her up and wrap her in a blanket and rock her and she lays her head on my shoulder.

As I sway back and forth I wonder how much more time I have to feel her silky, knotted baby hair against my neck and cheek, to listen to her breathing, to feel her arm draped over my shoulder. I try not to be pessimistic, but through all this I've learned to be realistic. I know that this baby may be my last.

I rock her for longer than I need to.

But then she's asleep and I lay her down carefully and sneak out of her room and crawl back into bed with my sleeping husband.

And I know that even with the snow, and angry cats, and sniffly noses that

I'm one lucky girl.