Content

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
-Philippians 4:11

Most days I want more than I have. It's something that I continuously struggle with.

A bigger house. A beautiful kitchen filled with state of the art appliances and gourmet ingredients. Another baby. Another car. A better wardrobe. Life would be better, easier if I had these things. I would be happier if I had these things.

At least that's what I tell myself.

I've spent a lot of time over the past few weeks thinking about the things I have vs. the things I want, and the things I want vs. the things I need.

When we were first married accumulating things was a necessity. As a brand new family it was part of building our home. All of a sudden we needed couches, a bed, pots and pans. Only a few nights of eating dinner off of a cardboard box convinced us that we needed a kitchen table and chairs. Luckily our wedding presents fulfilled most of these needs but not all of them. I remember one Sunday I was getting ready to make mashed potatoes and realized that I didn't have a vegetable peeler. One week I made a bread recipe that yielded two loaves and only had one bread pan. Like most newly married couples, we spent the next few years realizing what we had a need for and then fulfilling that need.

After almost 6 years of marriage we now have everything needed for day to day life and then some. I have a vegetable peeler. And a potato masher, and a zester. I have two bread pans. And a bundt pan, and an angel food cake pan. A year ago we lived in a very nice, very big (to us) house afforded to us by Justin's salary at the Idaho Statesman. We loved and got used to the space. Because we had the room, we accumulated extra things. Things for Justin's den: pictures, a desk, chairs. Things for my laundry room: fabric, sewing supplies. Things for my cooking: extra pans, beautiful serving pieces, a collection of white dishes.

Then, a month ago, as we prepared to move into a condo half the size of our house, I went and stood in my pantry and looked around. I looked at all the food, all the craft supplies, all the beautiful glasses and dishes that I'd carefully collected. And I wondered where I was going to put it all. I realized that some of it had to go. No, not some of it, most of it. There was no space in the new house for things that weren't used regularly. The boxes full of things that we reluctantly donated to charity were almost as numerous as the boxes that came with us.

We kept only what was necessary.

And- I don't miss much. As we live here in this tiny condo I find myself being more thankful than I have in a while. For small things. For birds singing and leaves changing color on my morning runs. For the eyes and ears that I have to experience those things. For a healthy, capable body. For a kind, thoughtful husband who loves me no matter what and a happy, busy daughter to keep me busy. For the gospel that enriches my life so much, for the opportunity to serve. It seems that my thoughts are an almost continuous hymn of thankfulness to my Heavenly Father and that surprises me a little. Maybe it's because we've been on loose, sliding ground for so long and now finally are finding our footing. Maybe it's because I really do feel our actions being guided by a larger, all-seeing force. Maybe it's because we're rebuilding, and on a more sure foundation than we had built before.

Maybe it's because it's true that the most important things in life aren't things.